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How to decorate a Christmas tree with small children
No I’m not putting the small children on the tree. But then writing ‘with the help of small children’ didn’t feel right either. So here is ‘How to decorate a tree while two small children fight over a...
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Beginners guide to entertaining a baby.
As a new mum I found the choice of things to do with my baby confusingly scary. Who knew that babies wanted to learn French? I mean apart from French babies – obvs in France it’s a basic requirement...
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11 reasons snow days suck ass now you’re a parent
Do you like my title? I thought it made me sound young and American and a bit of a dick. Only one of those things is true. Anyway now I’ve drawn you in here’s my list of stuff to keep small children...
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My embarrassing secret!
I have a confession. Regular readers of this blog will know that I have never painted myself as the best mother. I’m not sure trying to be the best mum is a great use of any woman’s energy. Small...
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Build a Bear + ebay = Awesome
If you do not know what Build a Bear is then thank your lucky stars, basically it’s a teddy bear that you make yourself in the shop – which sounds like it should cost less than a bear someone else has...
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How to win at SEO
A while ago I started writing a beginner’s guide to blogging, even though I actually have no idea what I’m talking about, but hey! This is the Internet as long as you can read an article in less than 5...
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What does 40 look like?
I found the Danny Dyer line above on BrainyQuote and it blew my mind. It was sandwiched between Pindar the ancient Greek lyrical poet (nope, me neither) and Michaelangelo, Renaissance man and painter...
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Blueberry soup with no pants on
Day two of the school holidays Mr Eeh Bah phones home to check we are all still alive. Him: Hi Are you OK? You said in your email you were…. cleaning. Me: Yes darling I’m fine. I was cleaning. Him: Are...
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Potty Training Part 2: Return Of The Freddo
A 3 year old boy is sat on the toilet floor enthralled by an avant-garde theatre performance, a bowl of strawberries and melon chunks between his legs. Also in the audience are 11 pirates and 5...
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Frozen vs Inside Out
Dear Pixar, Thank you for your efforts to entertain my children over the summer holidays however I’m afraid I have to take issue with your latest attempt. We took our children to see your feature...
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We bought a house!
It’s been quiet on the blog recently because I’ve finally run out of things to say. Mwahahaha. As if. Nah I had a break from writing over the summer so I could concentrate on shouting ‘Get back here...
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A mother’s guide to pissing people off.
Since starting my blog I have realised that there are some people out there who do not like it when mums make jokes about parenting. But recently wrote a short piece for The Telegraph and discovered...
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Who made me Keeper of the Fridge? (contains all the swears)
An everyday scene of domestic life: Eeh Bah Mum is upstairs putting away washing in the bedroom WHERE THERE IS NO FUCKING FRIDGE. Mr Eeh Bah is downstairs, in the kitchen stood right next to a large...
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Raised by Vikings
Dear The Vikings, I am writing to thank you for your continued support in the raising of my son, aged three, and your sterling work in getting him out of nappies and into pants ‘like what Vikings (and...
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Wallpaper madness
Let’s just decorate the bedrooms, we said. Let’s just make it nice for the kids, we said. Let’s leave all the big stuff til next year, we said. At least I think that’s how the conversation went, I...
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What Would Topsy and Tim’s Parents Do?
Dear Mr and Mrs Topsy and Tim, We love your show, well the children do. There’s a little quiz at the end to see if we’ve been paying attention – I haven’t, I’ve been on my smart phone the whole time,...
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Dictionary of Modern Parenting
Modern parenting can be confusing. As a mother I just want to know how many times a week I can feed a three year old biscuits for breakfast and still not blush whenever I say ‘We don’t really eat...
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New Yankee Candle Fragrance Range
Today on the blog I’m excited to bring you a sneek preview of the brand new range of Yankee Candles I’ve been developing launching early next year. I hope you like them! Seriously, I just fucking...
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5 Worst Internet Headlines
You won’t believe what these child stars look like now! Hmm I think I would. Do they look a lot older now? Yeah thought so. There are tribes in the Amazon rainforest who have grasped the basic concept...
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Don’t be like Bill, be like you.
Normally I spend a lot more time thinking about what I want to write on my blog but today I’m just spitting this thought out. That Bill is an annoying, smug twat isn’t he? OK so Bill doesn’t make a...
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